m00k1e’s blog

The Bridge

Melanie Fiona

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I go to the door and wonder who is knockin like the po-po at this hour of night. "Hold up," I say look through the peephole, its OPPORTUNITY.

"Let me in you fool!" she says as I open the the door.

"good to see you too," i mutter as she hastily rushes into my place.

"Well, well, well, look at you! New spot, job going well, really cool gf, about to do some traveling and teaching. Got anything to say to me?"

I scratch my head and wonder what shes talking about now. She likes to come over unannounced and rant and then leave. usually rants on theories, potenials, and "what ifs?" Like, just enough info to peak your interest and make you inquire further. Of course, it's always up to you to see what's up and act on these glimmers of hope. But if not you, then who? i am living in a new place, i have a full time job, and i'm doin actually well. life is pretty good. its a very unsettling feeling. Before I can answer she continues on:

"I hope you don't start getting TOO comfortable now. Since you're NOT struggling so much; you wake up, go to work, go home, cook dinner, watch tv and sleep.That sounds like borderline zombie-death to me! Wheres the ambition! the zeal! the wisecracking-fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants-bravado! Don't forget CHANGE and myself are interchangeable. It helps to keep you on your toes," she finishes matter-of-factually.

And she's right, I got so used to the struggle that I almost didn't know what to do when I wasn't struggling! But the struggle was what I thought kept me on my most creative and adventurous. Now, how do I translate that into times of prosperity? I look at OPPORTUNITY and she smiles that "finally he gets it!" smile that I love to hate.

"Well i gotta go! LIFE and CHANGE sends their regards. They'll come check you out in Finland or Sweden in December," she starts to leave.

"Yo, hold up!"

"Yes?"

"Thank you," I say sincerely.

"Don't mention it, 'sides next year is gonna be nuts!"

Sure, why the hell not.

Now, the sheer fact that it took me like 2-3 years to make 100 is hilarious but I digress. 

It's funny, when i "help" those wayward nice guys with no game one fo the first things i tell ask them is: "are you lucky to hang out w/ said girl or is she lucky to hang out with you?" How you answer definitely shows your opinion of yourself. Of course, you migh tcome off as cocky or arrogant but if you don't believe in yourself, then who will? Now, one can still be humble but confident. And since that fine line between cocky and confident blurs as your skills increase (in anything, not just women), you learn when to turn it on full blast or let it simmer on low.

Ryan Leslie

Ryan Leslie

So while talking to a friend about his new girlfriend, we started breaking down the pillars of a good relationship and how you need all 3 to stand firm. (I am speaking non-religiously here so bare with me, purposely omitting "love" because of its subjective nature) It all comes down to: Chemistry, Mental, and Physical. If you have 2/3 then usually you are in a boring relationship (mental/physical), booty call (chemistry/physical), or have a best friend (chemistry/mental). All are important but the balance is what keeps things fresh, new, and exciting.

By not going home for xmas, I will be alone at the apartment. oh no! Being someone who actually LIKES to be alone, I am treating it more as a vacation from everything. Just gonna relax and enjoy the me time. I got some painting to do, some drawing, and writing for my story collabo w/ the brothers. The gf is back home w/ her mom as well, so I really AM gonna be solo. Although man is not meant to be alone I think far to many people do not see the value in being comfortable in your own skin enough to be alone. They have to talk or have to have a bf/gf or the radio going or the tv on. Tsk, tsk, tsk, sometimes you got to enjoy the silence, with nothing but you and your thoughts. Yea, alone in the city.

well, since we last saw our hero he was off to the bay area, CAa nd then sweden and then ny and the bay area and then japan and then the bay again and finally nyc. so cam notes( the clff notes of life) version

The Bay pt. 1

• really fun got to catch up w/ the fam and friends.
• got to dance w/ my america's best dance crew homie (hes in supreme soul)
• nice vacation from nyc

Sweden

• suprised the gf, met the fam and mom (im a parent killa, parents LOVE me :D)
• worked on my horrible swedish. got beter near the end
• sweden is BEAUTIFUL, clean streets, fresh air (no smog)
• swedish people are BEAUTIFUL, my gf is not the typical swede but the whole bonde hair long legs stereo type IS true around there
• very expensive but wonderful food
• goo UNPLUGGED vacation: no phone, laptop, email, IM...glad i went

NYC

• Grind!
• worked at a 9-5 for 6 wks. stacked loot, hated the "stable life"

The Bay pt 2

• High school reunion: AWESOME! i was the cool guy from nyc, got hit on by all the cute milfs and girls w bfs. good ego boost
• my neice is now less than 4 wks hold. cute as a button and i vow to not let her be as much of a geek as her parents. so says the "the cool uncle"
• taught a house dance class. fun times fun times
• JAPAN: is an interesting damn country. Stayed/visted in Nagoya, osaka, kyoto, yokohama, and shinjuku. Shopped, ate wierd/cool food, danced at "dancehall" club, got lost, missed a flight cuz of a terror alert, bought porn for my friend(really only for him, not for me), and used my semi decent japanese.
• the gf invades CA: meets the parents, friends, teaches classes (shes a dancer too)
• Wedding: my youngest brother is now hitched. 2/4 brothers now married. mc'd/and deejayed the wedding. fun times
• more dancing w/ my ABDC homie and just enjoying the CA sun

NYC

• Grindin!
• Taking over the world slowly...slowly

The homies and I were discussing our (non naked/previously seen naked aka ex) female friends and conclude they are horrible friends. Now, to be fair, guys can be horrible friends as well, but thats another post (also guys will let you know your shady and just leave you alone all together). We came to this conclusion by measuring the amount of times we had each gone out of our way to connect w/ said horrible friends. Nothing super crazy, just a call or a mention to catch up and hang or get coffee. You know, like friends do. Each time met w/ lame excuses, preventable awkwardness, and more lame excuses. Now when said friends are called out on their lack of trying, they usually get defensive, or use the "i'm busy" excuse even though each one of us are probably twice as busy but make time to see/talk/catch up w/ our "friends".

Maybe its an "out of sight, out of mind" thing. Maybe they feel awkward cuz they have been such horrible friends. Or it's a pride thing where they don't want to make a move and get rejected or marginalized. Sad, cuz if they REALLY know us, as most claim they do, they would know we wouldn't make a big deal out of it, and continue the convo like it was yesterday. Instead, they ask AROUND us to get info they could easily get by asking directly. Horrible, indeed.

The part that irks us the most is when you finally decide to give up, you run in to them and they might say, "how come you don't call me no more?" Which we kindly reply, "Are your fingers broke? Phone broken?  Computer down? No? Then I don't want to here it." Grown ass adults or maybe not, i have been slowly learning. lol

love

• burritos from a taco truck
• watchin dvds w/ my parents
• drinks w/ the homies at dive bars
• philosophical convos w/ the homies over fine wine and good food
• catchin up w/ people
• relaxing
• my 9 yr old god daughter who is cooler than most girls my age i meet

• double standards
• being the bigger person
• feeling like a ghost in your old home
• not being around
• missing big moments and peoples lives
• realizing you really have moved on
• not saying what you mean and meaning what you say
  

• sweden!
• goin home to ny
• sleepin in my bed
• life